Between the weed, shots, and pills I am content. I am burning to disc all the Mountain Goats that I have downloaded over the last several months. I sit on the eve of a new year awaiting the promise of hope. Despite having my pride and my honor damaged and burned over the last two months I am happy. My life is in a constant state of Chaos, and my future is uncertain. I am unsure as to how I will survive the current storm (or the current week) and I can't have it any other way. There is no clear path and the past is no different. This is my life, love it or leave it. I have never known it to be any other way. My comfort is in knowing that I am not alone. I have met so many others in my life who are also adrift in the sea of Chaos, that I am not afraid to face the future. At one point I fought the tide now I swim with it. My life may be falling apart, but my faith is not. Now again it may be the booze and the drugs, but; my sense of humor is intact, my lust and desire remain strong, and my mind is as sharp as ever. I have not forgotten that just a few months ago I was in St. Louis working and laughing, and loving. I had troubles there just as I had in Atlanta, New York and (Yes!) even North Carolina. Yet, all troubles pass, you move on and things change. 2008 did bring immense Ch-Ch-Changes, to both me and my life. I saw this amazing country for the first time in my 31 years. I relocated to the furthest place from my homeland that I have ever seen. I spent my first year as a fiancé; found out that my fifteen years sweating my balls off behind the line means little more than shit. I went from being the wildest in the bunch to little more an old hermit tucked behind a keyboard. I have laid witness to history and change and hopefully 2009 will bring a bright new day in American politics. The road to nowhere seems more open than ever. The state of my life mirrored in the ups and downs of the global economy. Times are tough and money is tight but this too shall pass little one. I witnessed my youngest sister graduate from the same high school I barely survived. I saw my other sister growing into a woman as strong as our mother. I lost three prominent members of my family that I had grown up with but not seen in many years. They will be sorely missed. As we get older we accept that things will begin to make more sense that we will be able to understand the way the world works a little better, and we do. But what we really do is begin to recognize patterns and we learn to accept the things we cannot change. Those of you who've been court ordered to get your white chip recall the poem. Sadly it's true. You gain perspective and a little insight with age, yet true understanding can come only from walking a mile in the other mans moccasins. This life we lead is a journey with no destination. As much as we like to fool ourselves that we are going somewhere the only place we have for certain is back to the earth from which we came. Not to be so depressing, it can be liberating to know that you have no guarantees in life and that it is what you make of it in deed. You are free to go where you want and do whatever your heart desires so long as you can come to terms with the consequences of your own actions. If you comfortable in jail then you can rob banks and shot cops all day and night until they take you down. And believe me they will take you down. There is no such thing as a one man army. We are as free as our minds and dreams allow us to be. Inhibited by fear and doubt more-so than laws or even physics. There are those who defy not just mans laws but those of nature as well. There are dreamers who cannot be confined by rules or even morals. And I admire them. I used to believe myself to be one of them. Now a an old man filled with self-doubt and regret I look out the window behind my desk and ponder if I still have the fire in my belly to make that leap of faith. I know that somewhere inside me still beats the heart of a beast. Grey may his hair be the dragon still breathes fire-right? We are living in a historic time, possible the end times, more than likely not. As we look forward we should however not forget to look back, not just to the last year but to all the past years. And don't look so disappointed.
Auld Lang Syne - Traditional New Year's Song
Song Lyrics & History
Song Lyrics - Auld Lang Syne Should old acquaintance be forgot, For auld lang syne, my dear, And surely you'll buy your pint cup ! For auld lang syne, my dear, We two have run about the hills, For auld lang syne, my dear, We two have paddled in the stream, For auld lang syne, my dear, And there's a hand my trusty friend For auld lang syne, my dear,
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