We're still all Goonies

“Heeeeyyyy youuuuu Guuuuyyyys” on June 7th 1985 one of the greatest films ever made was released; The pirates map, the villainous crooks, the underground caverns, the booby traps, the skeletons, the monster, the lost treasure, and the magic that is... THE GOONIES Directed by (Superman Director) Richard Donner, written by Steven Spielberg, The Goonies are a part of every child of the 80sThey represent all of us who didn’t fit in with the jocks and the preppies. Those of us who lived under ground; “Because our time is down here, up there is their time.” I could quote the entire movie without ever seeing it again, from the “truffle shuffle” to “Holy S-H-I-T!” They spawned two video games, a comic book (twenty years later), toys, and countless other merchandise, Puma even made Goonie sneakers(I want a pair). When I was in a kid I had the Goonies lunch pail and there isn’t a day that goes by I don’t wish I still had it. The Goonies were more than just a junior Indian Jones; it was more than just a coming of age tale. It was the story of friendship, staying true to who you are, and hanging out with giant pinhead freaks. It taught us that a nerdy Chinese kid with a belt full of homemade inventions is an invaluable asset, and Corey Feldman speaks horrible Spanish. The life lessons we took from Goonies are immeasurable, from avoiding life’s “booby traps”, to dead pirates are nothing to fear, to a bunch of Guido gangsters are funnier than they are dangerous, the most important life lesson we were taught was that; “Goonies never say Die!” Although what has become of the cast, well we all know what happened to the Feldster as he climbed to mega-stardom and immortal iconography. Sean Austin went on to make a fortune starring in The Lord of the Rings as a gay hobbit. It’s good to see Josh Brolin making a comeback (thanks to No Country for Old Men), when I go see Jonah Hex in a few weeks I will be thinking of one thing though The Goonies. Chunk became a slimmed down Entertainment lawyer, Sloth went on to be the big guy on TV and low budget movies up until the nineties when he disappeared. Andy went on to star in Lucas alongside the other Corey (R.I.P. Haimster) then didn’t do much else outside of Murder She Wrote and a couple of Law and Order episodes. Stef also appeared on an episode of Law and Order. Martha Plimpton has a ton of credits to her name on IMBD, but nothing as notable as her role in Goonies. We all know what happened to Mama Frateli (she was thrown from a train), and Francis of course has starred in everything from the Sopranos to the Matrix, to Pluto Nash! Data had already starred in Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom and could have retired off the money that movie made, but he found it in his heart to grace us with a cameo in Encino Man. Why -because Goonies never Die! Happy 25th One-Eyed-Willie!

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