Johnny 5 is Alive!

Le plus ça change plus c'est pareil

Where 's Bonny Tyler when you need her? It seems that some kids watched Short circuit and grew up a to make sure we could all have our own Johnny 5! Named the Spykee this WiFi robot can be controlled through the internet from anywhere in the world and can watch, hear, speak and monitor (isn't that the same as watching) anything you want. according to the website Meccano designers came up with Spykee in January of 2006 ; they had the "crazy" idea that anyone "despite of age" could build and own their own spy-bot! And after many prototypes and models they brought forth " a little futuristic marvel to delight all those who are crazy about new technologies." Now why they make it a point that children can buy and build this robot is a mystery, perhaps it's because the designers where deprived the right to build their own robots as children. We don't know!
It almost seems like their marketing this towards kids, but what does a kid need with a robot that has a thermal filter, fiber optics, and offers free phone calls over the internet? And what kid can afford the $369 price tag? I mean if you were a 15 year old weed dealer still living at home it might be useful to make sure that your mom isn't snooping around your room looking for your stash!

More robots to spy on you at work!

Remember the Telenoid R1 we told you about a few months ago? Well it seems the little ghost sperm has some slightly less creepy cousins sprouting up out there. Well today we learned about the new Vgo's telepresence system, which kinda looks like that Wall.E cartoon that we've never seen. Marketed as a way for micro managing office managers to be there in the office when they can't actually be there in the office looking over the shoulders of their fellow office drones, nit-picking everything they do, and making sure no one spends all day on facebook, looking at pictures of the fun and exciting people that got away from them. The website tout's that you can "use Vgo to monitor facilities, processes and people". Ah joyous, now the roving eye-ball monster from Big Trouble in Little China has gotten a modern techno update! Their slogan is "You don’t make a call – you just go there". Coming in at around four feet integrated with a small screen, camera, speakers and microphone. The user can access the robot by sitting at his home through his system Vgo has priced this robotic terror at $6000 by its makers (and $1200 per year service contract)

This weird little thing rolling around the empty, lifeless corridors of dull gray office buildings of the future is straight out of a deleted scene from Brazil! It's not the first of it's kind; in 2009 a company called Anybot created one that closely resembled Johnny 5. It stands about 5 feet tall and is equipped a 5 megapixel camera, forward-mounted display, WiFi and optional 3G connectivity, and a laser pointer because, well, freaky talking robots with some assholes face on them need lasers for pointing at things! Available for somewhere in the $15,000 - $25,000 range.

Pretty soon we're all gonna be surrounded by these machines, tormented by fat weak-ass bosses who are all sitting around some jacuzzi at the Radisson! Luckily these abominations have not been equipped with arms of any kind just yet, but soon enough they will have super strong robot arms controlled by Monkees in a lab out side of Philadelphia. These are indeed strange times my brothers and sisters!