I went to see the 25th Anniversary showing of Ferris Beuller's Day Off at the Ernst & Borgnine Plaza in lovely downtown L.A. tonight. Because I love that movie growing up, and also because it was free and I have 8 dollars in my bank account right now. It was cold, almost too cold to wait for the part at the end where he comes out and ask the audience why they are still there. It was far too cold for the silly karaoke and inane antics of the host prior to the show. As I sat alone sipping on my cheap whiskey shivering I imagined the non existent sequel to Mr. Buellers hilarious day off, a darker film where young Cameron Frye sits alone waiting for his overbearing father to return to see that his previously shy, quite son has done to his most prized possession and the only thing in this world that brings him joy. More than just a car this a something he has worked his entire life to own and cherishes it more than he does his own family. The two argue at first, but the verbal war soon turns physical. Young Cameron, now empowered by the destruction he has caused to his fathers beloved Ferrari, he unleashes years of pent up frustration and kills his much older father. He doesn't stop with a simple blow, but leaps upon his father, mad with passion never felt before and mutilates the body. Soon a calm rushes over Cameron and he decides to visit his friends. First he pops in on young Sloane Peterson and professes his love for her. Today was not the first time he has spied on her changing. He admits that he has watched as she lay with Ferris on several occasions. Frightened of her now murderous friend, Sloan tries to rebuff Cameron's advances without provoking his now violent rage. She fails by the time she arrives at Ferris's door she is nothing more than a head in a bag. Enraged that his love was unrequited and his anger now taking the form of jealousy over the one man he feels has gotten all the breaks. "everything always works out for Ferris." He says menacingly, "Not this time" He lunges at his friend who wasn't even taking his claims of homicide seriously. The two battle throughout Ferris's room, but just like the master, he has many resources in his lair and after a valiant struggle he uses his trickery to subdue the enraged Mr. Frye. Cameron does not wish to face a life with the consequences of his actions and leaps out of the second story window head first committing suicide. Ferris of course is unscathed and hailed as a hero. He wins again.
As a back story we see Ferris's sister Jeanie as she blossoms from a prude to a knife wielding bad-ass with her boyfriend a young tough Charlie Sheen. The two almost thwart Cameron as he makes his way to Ferris only to fall victim themselves to the unstoppable rage that has built within him for years. We also see the suicide of Ed Rooney unable to cope with his humiliating defeat at the hands of a teenager. All the while Ferris parent's remain oblivious to the going-on's and unaffected by their daughters demise. And we are still left wondering why the most popular kid on the planet has a Cabaret Voltaire poster in his room!
