Monkee Chow: Welcome to the Monkee House!: "Welcome, I've been debating this idea for some time, trying to figure out if it was safe to publish my ideas and techniques safely without ..."
Showing posts with label monkee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monkee. Show all posts
9/27/2010
Monkees at the fair!
View all the photos from the Monkee Armadas trip to the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco this weekend! http://www.flickr.com/photos/monkeearmada/sets/72157624917908111/show/
8/10/2010
Japan has their own runaway Monkee
Remember the Tampa Bay Monkey,
running wild in Florida entrancing the nation awhile back? Well Japan
has gotten there own version-The Shibuya Monkey! It's running wild in a
busy section of Tokyo terrorizing subway riders and entrancing a nation!
According to LetsJapan; A monkey that has been romping around parts of Tokyo since Aug. 6 could be the monkey that ran through Tokyo's Shibuya station on Aug. 20, 2008. On the morning of August 20, 2008,
a macaque monkey scampered into Shibuya train station in Tokyo.
Police armed with several meters of green netting and carrying hooped
nets surrounded the macaque while it rested on an overhead timetable
display. The monkey eluded capture and darted among commuters before
escaping into the city. News video of the 2008 Shibuya monkey-chase
was broadcast on TV worldwide and posted on TV and newspaper websites.
The first summer of 2010 monkey sightings occurred about 5:50 PM Aug.
4. The Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department says the monkey was discovered on the roof of a home next to a rice paddy in Nerima Ward.
The same day, the monkey was seen in the same area jumping along
electric power lines, scaling the walls of homes, eating some grapes in
the garden of a house, and loitering in front of an elementary school.
The ape brushed a taxi that was driving down a road in Ikebukuro the
morning of the Aug. 5. There were no injuries.Also on Aug. 5, the
macaque was seen in the vicinity of Ikebukuro station in the morning, and it was watched scampering on a road in Shinmachi, Itabashi Ward in the afternoon. There is speculation this Japanese macaque is a wild macaque that lived in Chichibu and might have followed a river into the urban area.On July 23, the Shibuya monkey posted a message
on twitter: "so sweetly! atsui! matted fur dripping pocari sweat 8:]
see you my go out august! anniversary! this !!! keyboard ! Stinky!!!" 
5/09/2010
Tampa Bay Mystery Monkee still inspiring others
3/16/2010
Colossal Ancient Monkee found in Egypt
CAIRO, March 16, 2010 (AFP) - Egyptian archaeologists have discovered a colossal ancient statue of the pharaonic deity of wisdom, Thoth, in the shape of a baboon, the council of antiquities said in a statement on Tuesday.
The four-metre (13-foot) tall statue was discovered in four pieces along with two statues while workers were lowering ground waters beneath Luxor to help preserve the city's pharaonic temples, the statement said.
It dates back to the 18th Dynasty, which ruled Egypt until 1292 BC.
"It is the first time that a statue of Thoth, depicting him as a monkey, of this magnitude has been discovered," Mansur Boraik, head of pharaonic antiquities in Luxor, told AFP.
The statues were discovered near the temple of Amenhotep III, who ruled until 1372 BC.
Another statue, of which only the upper half was found, depicted the king and the sky god Horus, represented as a falcon, antiquities chief Zahi Hawass said in the statement.
"The team also discovered an alabaster statue base that is expected to have been the base of one of Amenhotep III's statues," he said.
A granite statue of the pharaoh Ramses III, who ruled about 3,000 years ago, was also found.
3/01/2010
1/08/2010
Story in Photos: Monkey Flosses Teeth : Discovery News
During our absence The Royal Armada Reader missed out on a few notable Monkee related events. Happy Belated Monkey Day to all of you out ther and trust we will be trying to catch you up on some stories you might have missed as well. In the meantime check out this from DiscoveryNews.Com Story in Photos: Monkey Flosses Teeth. We will return soon with the latest from the front lines.
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Now playing: Death - You're a Prisoner
via FoxyTunes
9/04/2009
Monkee High Fashion
While we're still pushing our official (and affordable) Monkee Armada Gear over at the Monkee Armada Stuff shop we set up over on CafePress, apparently the new must have item amongst wealthy socialites and wealthy hipsters are these new shirt/dresses by some guy named Christopher Kane.
The two designs shown here are a Mandrill and Baboon, though a Simian Gorrilla was the design popularized by some singer named Rihanna. Selling for $346.50 at the chicest Soho boutiques it would seem that the Monkee Armada has infiltrated the high end of fashion. While we are proud and we have to admit they are pretty stylish, yet if you don't have $350 to blow on an over-sized shirt be sure to check out the official Armada wear for that authentic hipster look.
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Now playing: Sonic Youth - Teen Age Riot
via FoxyTunes
The two designs shown here are a Mandrill and Baboon, though a Simian Gorrilla was the design popularized by some singer named Rihanna. Selling for $346.50 at the chicest Soho boutiques it would seem that the Monkee Armada has infiltrated the high end of fashion. While we are proud and we have to admit they are pretty stylish, yet if you don't have $350 to blow on an over-sized shirt be sure to check out the official Armada wear for that authentic hipster look.
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Now playing: Sonic Youth - Teen Age Riot
via FoxyTunes
9/03/2009
Monkees are Metal
Scientist at the University of Wisconsin have recently discovered something we the Armada have known for some time. That Monkees are Metal as fuck! Apparently composer David Teie developed a theory to explain why music plays on human emotions. It involved playing music to a group of West African Tamarins. The study showed that the Tamarins responded to music made by other Tamarins but when it came to human music the only responded to Mettalica! Now I'm sure the Monkee's used in the study would have preferred some Mastodon or Dethklok, but the scientist probably didn't rock hard enough to know about the newer Metal Gods on the scene. Yet again science is catching on to what the Armada has been preaching for some time.
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Now playing: Gnarls Barkley - Surprise
via FoxyTunes
4/10/2009
Glimmer of Hope
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Now playing: Camper Van Beethoven - Opi Rides Again/Club Med Sucks
via FoxyTunescom/artist/camper+van+beethoven/track/opi+rides+again+club+med+sucks">Camper Van Beethoven - Opi Rides Again/Club Med Sucks
via FoxyTunes
Today president Obama said that we are beginning to see “glimmers of hope” in the economy. I am beginning to see them to. The thing about glimmers though is that they are not rays of sunshine but brief glimpses of light. This week I started culinary school. It seems like something I should have done long ago, but I was too busy. Far too busy, getting drunk and having sex with women who are still getting drunk and having sex with dirty boys like me. Though nothing is set in stone yet (waiting) I do believe this has been the most positive thing that I have ever done in my life. Most of my time on this earth has been spent daydreaming of myself becoming some sort of revolutionary figure, some romantic hero. While I daydreamed the world moved around me. Night became day and instead of a hero I was left a zero. A few months ago I would not have said that. I was on top of the world. I had just moved to California with a gorgeous woman and nothing was going to stop me. So I thought. When my friends and family called I bragged and boasted about the wonderful weather and amazing life I was living. As if the Irony Engine was listening I had that wonderful life ripped from my grasp. I failed as it were to hold on to it. Such is my lot in life they say. Yours truly has a problem maintaining a copasetic situation. I still miss her and suppose I always will, but after three months of wallowing in self pity I crawled my way out the hole I had dug and began to try and stand on my own two feet for once.
The mood was ominous, I had not done anything like this in my life, I had no idea how I was about to change my world. When I was a young man and Anarchy was the order of the day I had no desire to be educated by anyone other than those who already held my beliefs. IN life and in love as well as in my chosen profession I was opposed to new ideas. Over time my ideals faded. Some became a belief system which I still cling to; others were cast out for more practical living arrangements. The man that stands before you today at 31 years of age (soon to be 32), would smack the boy that screamed bloody murder at any sort of formal training. At 19, 20, 25 I refused to be cajoled into thinking that I could learn anything more than what I already knew. You should never tell a child he’s gifted at 9 years old. Let that be a lesson to anyone with kids or planning to have kids. I walked onto the campus Monday believing this would be a mere cake walk so to speak and that I was just there to get a piece of paper that deemed me worthy to be paid a decent wage and possibly receive some health benefits. Instead I was met by the cold reality that there is much I need to learn. Not that I was surprised, I have long since abandoned the belief that my knowledge was superior. In fact I have came a long way in the past three months that I spent alone, head-in-hands trying to figure out how my life went to shit so fast. California has taught me a thing or two about me but the lesson truly began a few years back when I realized that I was not as in control of my life as I had hoped and fate drug me from the cradle of the south out to the cold uncaring Midwest. I knew then that my ride was beginning to change routes.
The world has changed as well and brought both surprises and disappointments. My mind and heart are not as strong as they were a few years ago-they are stronger. Even if the current plan some how goes array I know that I will survive I will overcome and the world will not end. The third planet from the son will continue to rotate and life will go on. Shit from Shinola right? I have no grand delusions that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out. I fully anticipate bumps in the road. What can any of us do about said bumps? In every life a little rain must fall-the saying goes. I sit here this afternoon though with a small glimmer of hope and a faint since of accomplishment. I can begin to see a better day for the first time in well over 90 days. Which is a long time if you think about it? When I talk to people I have to remind myself that they don’t know me and I should refrain from opening up too much. At the same time I’m so overjoyed to have human s to talk to rather than these sad walls. The truth of the matter is these walls aren’t all that sad they held me up when I was falling and never once judged me. What may come next week may be even better, here’s hoping.
via FoxyTunes2/24/2009
10/11/2008
Thee Monkee Ring
The armada is expanding it's reach. To what avail we shall see. We haven't had much respose so we're just putting ourselves out ther for all to see. Here is a list of all the Armada on the web;
http://the1truel.angelfire.com/monkeepages
http://the1truel.angelfire.com
http://monkeeboi.deviantart.com
http://codasarmadas.blogspot.com
http://monkeearmada.blogsome.com
http://monkeearmada.blogdrive.com
http://monkeearmada.ning.com
myspace.com/monkeearmada
http://groups.myspace.com/MONKEEARMADA
So feel free to visit us anywhere. Talk, start a discussion, plan activities, represent hardcore for the monkees in the jungle (concrete or otherwise).
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Now playing: Rage Against the Machine - Kick out the Jams
via FoxyTunes
http://the1truel.angelfire.com/monkeepages
http://the1truel.angelfire.com
http://monkeeboi.deviantart.com
http://codasarmadas.blogspot.com
http://monkeearmada.blogsome.com
http://monkeearmada.blogdrive.com
http://monkeearmada.ning.com
myspace.com/monkeearmada
http://groups.myspace.com/MONKEEARMADA
So feel free to visit us anywhere. Talk, start a discussion, plan activities, represent hardcore for the monkees in the jungle (concrete or otherwise).
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Now playing: Rage Against the Machine - Kick out the Jams
via FoxyTunes
10/09/2008
No two Monkees are the same
No two Monkees are the same, each swing his or her own way. The Armada is the way we coalesce. For some flinging poo is an art, for others poo is flung with wild abandon. There are those that fling poo with their hands, and those that fling poo with their mouths. There are those that abstain from the throwing of arid feces, and those that accept their lives in the zoo. Whether or not you are a wild simian, or a helper monkey assisting the blind, we each agree on one thing. We are not a part of the human race we are above them! We are in the trees.
The Armada is first and foremost the defenders of the Flower Fruit Mountain ! We are the guardians of the Kingdom to the east. We serve Sun Wukong (our king), and worship at the altar of our God Hanuman. Our understanding of the two is not the literal sort; we kneel before no man is simply our creed!
The attack Wings of the Armada are; the flying Monkees from Hell, and the Almighty Monkey fist! Derived From hue-man stories and myths, they are the extensions of the greater whole. The FMFH are warriors who once served a powerful and cruel witch, but are now master-less and uncontrollable. They are the Ronin of the armada; they represent the vicious untamed heart of the Monkee that can travel great distances to cause great mischief. They know no bounds and have few limitations. Their outlook is radical and they answer to no one not even each other. The A.M.F however is different. Much like the Monkee Paw that brings good luck to the savage hue-mans that hold it yet rue the day. Behold the fist that brings illumination to those it strikes. The fist is undeniable and brings truth and justice swiftly. Beware both
The Armada can now be found at these locations; http://monkeearmada.ning.com,http://monkeearmada.blogdrive.com, http://the1truel.angelfire.com/monkeepages, http://monkeearmada.blogsome.com, and we are growing!
12/14/2007
Do you know who I am?
- Do you know who I am?
- I am the illegitimate great-grand son of Willie Nelson,
- I am Lou Ferigno's little brother
- I am the flaming gay child of Scott Summers and Emma Frost
- I am the Decedent of kings and Queens
- the end product of a thousand generations of rebellion
- I am the son of Tomorrow and the father of today
- I am the one and only L (bizzie) Balls Esq.
-
- Beware I spit venom like leftover cock juice!
-
- There is a bare knuckle approach that I bring to every fight. I come in all cocksure , guns blazing. Then I spend a few rounds crying in my beer. The next step is dancing and singing. But there comes a time in everyman's life where he gets tired of running around, as Prince once said!
-
As a Monkee first and a man second, I have always had a problem changing my mind. I've had problems turning back even when I knew there was trouble up ahead. This has made for most of my interesting stories though. So here I go again-Classify these as good times! (Willie Nelson)
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Now playing: Ask - The Smiths
via FoxyTunes
10/12/2007
Remember When....
Remember Zines? I miss them. I used to have one way back when. Back when we
used to care. Back when there was a since of community. I know I'm
stuck in this nostalgia mode, bear with me 30 is a big number. Three
decades of kicking ass and forgetting names. And, there have been a
lot of forgotten names. A lot of lost nights. Tripping face on acid
or sh rooms, smoked out my mind on some killer Hydro. Whiskey River
took my mind. But I can still vaguely recall the early years, back in
D.C. (Davie County, hanging out at the Taco Bell in Clemons. Shows
at the Armory and the day Evolution opened up. The mall before we
tried to blow it up. Hellenbach and what was that one place way out,
where No Talent played that one time? Fuck where did all the time go.
Where did all the money go. I couldn't afford to put out a zine now
unless I printed it myself. Hey? It would be cheaper to buy ink
cartridges than pay a printer. Perhaps I'll start up the old RR
again. There seems to be a lot of talking heads these days though.
Everyone has an opinion and with blogs,the Internet, and millions of
channels on TV anyone can spit out there version of what's going on.
I don't necessarily see a need to print out a black and white rant on
this society. Besides things have become so ass-backwards and
completely fucked I don't see how one mans call to defiance is going
to ring out. I do need to start focusing what forum I do I have
(ahem). Thing is I've reached out here before and not much of a
response. The chick of that dumb Bret Heart show got 1024 comments
yesterday alone. I gotta figure out how to break the glass ceiling.
Of course That means I'm going to have to up the ante on the content.
I gotta think of something more potent to write about. Thing is I
look back on the stuff I used to print and it wasn't much different.
My angry laments on the world and my undying hatred of mankind was
just in its infancy back then. Now I have shed my humanity for full
pledge monkee-ism. Viva La Revolution!
stuck in this nostalgia mode, bear with me 30 is a big number. Three
decades of kicking ass and forgetting names. And, there have been a
lot of forgotten names. A lot of lost nights. Tripping face on acid
or sh rooms, smoked out my mind on some killer Hydro. Whiskey River
took my mind. But I can still vaguely recall the early years, back in
D.C. (Davie County, hanging out at the Taco Bell in Clemons. Shows
at the Armory and the day Evolution opened up. The mall before we
tried to blow it up. Hellenbach and what was that one place way out,
where No Talent played that one time? Fuck where did all the time go.
Where did all the money go. I couldn't afford to put out a zine now
unless I printed it myself. Hey? It would be cheaper to buy ink
cartridges than pay a printer. Perhaps I'll start up the old RR
again. There seems to be a lot of talking heads these days though.
Everyone has an opinion and with blogs,the Internet, and millions of
channels on TV anyone can spit out there version of what's going on.
I don't necessarily see a need to print out a black and white rant on
this society. Besides things have become so ass-backwards and
completely fucked I don't see how one mans call to defiance is going
to ring out. I do need to start focusing what forum I do I have
(ahem). Thing is I've reached out here before and not much of a
response. The chick of that dumb Bret Heart show got 1024 comments
yesterday alone. I gotta figure out how to break the glass ceiling.
Of course That means I'm going to have to up the ante on the content.
I gotta think of something more potent to write about. Thing is I
look back on the stuff I used to print and it wasn't much different.
My angry laments on the world and my undying hatred of mankind was
just in its infancy back then. Now I have shed my humanity for full
pledge monkee-ism. Viva La Revolution!
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Now playing: Fugazi - Wesley Willis
via FoxyTunes
10/08/2007
Five of Cups
Five of Cups
So The Festival of L is upon us. So far so good. Starting a few days early with an awesome Flaming Lips show. I got some new pants and every Monday has been TV heaven. This Friday I was surprised by my lady love with a chocolate Mushroom and about five and a half hours of moving walls and swirling thoughts,. Hanging out with A.Zo's co-workers, we journeyed to a supposed Irish Bar that was packed to the gills with yuppies and frat boys dressed all a like chasing after sorority/yuppie chicks each dressed identical also. I mean the walls were covered with Irish looking things and photos of people playing Irish music. There was even an Irish folk band playing when we left. But the real draw for the rest of the people there was this enormous patio. It was like where all those MTV Spring Breakers go when it's not Spring Break. So there I was tripping face, still dressed in my kitchen gear, in the midst of my version of hell talking to lawyers about what else-metal. The whole time my mind was trying to figure out why on earth anyone would voluntarily put themselves into this kind of situation, when too guys walk buy wearing shirts that said “Boob 4 Bachelors”. I managed not to freak out long enough for us to call a cab and get the hell out of there. One thing that I can not stand is Weekend Warriors. Those nine-to-five-ers that only get hammered on the weekend. If you can't party on Tuesday, you can't party on Friday. Once we go it home everything was fine. Anitra broke out her Tarot cards and read my future and we sat out side and talked for a while. I did a cartwheel in the room (without hitting the ceiling fan). We had a few laughs and watched this movie about Palestinian Freedom Fighters. It was a fine trip, but the next day at work I felt like absolute shit. On top of feeling run down and hung over, one of my teeth started giving me problems. I was in constant pain and we got slammed right at the last hour of work. Back to my trip, I thought a lot about my future and my past. Lately I've been typing out my old journals and I've come to a conclusion. I am not as profound as I thought I was. I used to believe that I had some type of majestic insight and had written some essays that were simply ahead of there time. In reality I scribbled down some drunk/high-as-hell ramblings and incomplete theories on nothing. Not that I think that it was all a waste, I found a lot of semi-cool maxims and one-liners to use. For the most part though it's been disappointing to say the least. So I vow from here on out to try my best to complete my thoughts. I refrained from blogging or writing anything down until I had hashed out my thoughts. I also pledge to not stop until I am fully published and get what ideas I have completed to print. I also discovered that I can no longer do drugs and go to work the next day. So if I ever have a weekend off I too may become a Weekend Warrior.
9/13/2007
8/04/2007
Transmisions from the satilite heart
I've decided that since I don't get very many page views here I will instead use this blog as a sort of stream of conscientiousness blog. A place where I just ramble on about what ever in my head instead of simply reposting my My Space blogs.
I'm not sure where to start so I'll just begin with my day today. I woke up jerked off went to work, came home and jerked off. There you have it another exciting adventure from your Uncle L-Ballz. No need to thank me for that tidbit. I feel it is my duty to try and open your eyes Fight the good fight and all that. I want everyone out there to fuck their neighbor. Open her/his legs and go to town. Then after that go to your other neighbor and fight him/her. Then sit down and play Scrabble together. It is refreshing and you will feel better when the kids are out of the house. Then you can burn it down. I want you all to listen ad move to Puerto Rico, do not learn Spanish though it is the devils tounge. Instead speak only dead languages. Write only i Sanskrit and if you must make love to an ant hill please use a rubber. There are rages and thre are white hot rages, then their are keggers and ponykeggers. Stop long enough to smell the assholes. There is no breeze blowing it is only god farting!
I'm not sure where to start so I'll just begin with my day today. I woke up jerked off went to work, came home and jerked off. There you have it another exciting adventure from your Uncle L-Ballz. No need to thank me for that tidbit. I feel it is my duty to try and open your eyes Fight the good fight and all that. I want everyone out there to fuck their neighbor. Open her/his legs and go to town. Then after that go to your other neighbor and fight him/her. Then sit down and play Scrabble together. It is refreshing and you will feel better when the kids are out of the house. Then you can burn it down. I want you all to listen ad move to Puerto Rico, do not learn Spanish though it is the devils tounge. Instead speak only dead languages. Write only i Sanskrit and if you must make love to an ant hill please use a rubber. There are rages and thre are white hot rages, then their are keggers and ponykeggers. Stop long enough to smell the assholes. There is no breeze blowing it is only god farting!
5/25/2007
Just a pre-view of the Grand CODAS ARMADAS
The
Codas
Armadas
"We Will Fling Poo"
Codas
Armadas
"We Will Fling Poo"
In Chinese mythology The Monkee King is called Sun Hou-Shi, he is also called "The Great Sage, Equal of Heaven". Born from a cosmic egg concieved out of the emptiness and engendered by the wind atop a mountain of fruits and flowers. He provides various arts and skills to mankind. Legend has it that once upon a time the great king of all Monkees once grew dissatisfied and wished to live forever. A Doaist master taught the king the way of eternal life and he acended to Heaven, where he stole the peaches of immortality and caused great mishief He escaped punishment when the immortal Guan Yin spoke on his behalf. Instead of being banished to the shadowlands the Monkee King was tasked to look after the priest Xuan Zang on his "Journey West", to aquire rare Buddhist scriptures.
In India Hanuman is the son of the wind Goddess, and prince of all Monkees. His father Sugrive is the son of the Sun God and King of all Monkees. Hanuman is the true hero in their ancient text "Ramayena. In the text Rama's wife Sita is kidnapped by the demon Ravana, and it is Hanuman who is sent to rescue her. Hanuman is captured and his tail is Set Ablaze. He uses this blazing tail to burn down the great city of Sri Lanka. During the Chaos he escapes only to return later with Rama and slay the demon.
"Know that I am Hanuman, son of Vayu the God of Wind! My master is Sugriva The Monkee King!"
"A monkee's tail is important to him, after all. Without it he would be as deformed as Shurpanakha"
IN THEE BEGINING
It began with (well I can't tell you about all that) Let's start just after the begining, after the first poo was flung and the remenants of that poo sent debris across the universe, as it was then which was nothingness expanding into nothingness. As Chaos brought light into the void, the Universe opened it's eye which was evrything. As the debri setteled across the infinte reaches and began to take shape and form what humans call galaxies. These glaxies formed solar syatems inside which planets grew and onto which life was formed. Creatures took shape over millineas and from atoms to aeombas all things began to take form in their fashion and after much time. The Universe than opened it's second eye which was also everything, and what it saw was good. Our world was one rock among many but life was strong and flourishing as we traveled around solar system which was revolving inside the galaxy which was spinning within the Universe.
As life evolved here on Earth it did so elswhere as well some planets grew before ours and so life was more advanced by the time the first monkees set upright. Those who grew futher from the sun as time went on exhausted their planets resources and natural selection eveicted them from their worlds. As their civilizatons failed their refugees saught out the next habital planet to colonize. As all planets where spit from the sun, each was the same at certain stages. The Third Planet from the sun, being the most inhabital allways. Mankind was not yet born when this planet recieved it's first visitors. Theses creatures where not that diffrent from makind and saught domion over the land and sea. They fell the great lizards and raised enormous cities in the oceans. They destroyed the lands and seas and tried to form the earth to their liking. with their science and weapons of destruction the suceeded and changed the landscape over time. These creatures however where ot alone. For another race had come hoping to get ahead of their own demise. These two alien colonys then began to war. Their war consumed them and destroyed their glorious cities in the sea. Some escaped and built other cities high above the mountain tops in the clouds.
As their populations dwindled and their war raged on, the two species came to the conclusion that peace was in their best intrest. Yet even in peace their bloodlines would not survive long without careful manipulation. These madmen raped Monkee women and bred all manners of abominations. From Apes, to Neandrathals, from Cro-Mags, to Humans. These were off shoots to genitic manipulation of the Monkee DNA by vile invaders who then lorded over their creations as Gods themselves. These false Gods were occasionally benevolent, but more often sinister with their own unalturistic motivations and self preservational plans. Yet they found through their mechanations they could only produce one sex each. They needed their combined geneology to poduce a being that was cabable of self replication. Thus their fatal flaw. Two creatures both with Monkee DNA would be the downfall of the Gods. Soon the monkee gene began to rear it's head. The Humans and Apes and all the assortment of devients began to war and kill each other over parcels of land. Their greed and ignorance sowed deep seeds of strife which can stil be seen even now. No Monkee can follow orders for too long. A monkee is meant to be free, even mutated and twisted this trait appears. Violence, (a monkee invention) caused many of the devients to become extinct, and then as Humans grew in dominance over their land and surroundings they then began to rebel against their false Gods and masters. The knowlege held by all monkees of the origins of man and of the universe were transfered to mankind and many within humanity awoke to the eternal truths over time. Legends of Grand Monkee Kings and Princes' brought mankind out of the darkness and into an age of light and reason. As the old Godlings died out so did their power a few managed to extend their bloodling and life spans into the present. The most benevolent of them survived but, only the true and only by hiding away within the grand mountain fortress known as Shang-Ri-La. Where Monkees are still welcome for they know the truth of our great kingdom there.
Thee Secret History of The World
During the war between the colonies life still evolved within the animal kingdom. The end of the Gret Lizards brought the rise of the Great Beast. The beast of the world took little intrest in the mechanations of these strange off worlders. They were primaitive in their thinking and this would be their undoing. More on that later. The original inhabitant of "God's Green Earth" the animals eolved in a world that man could not see. They formed factions and allegences amongst themselves. The rulers of the animal kingdom were for centuries the big cats of the mountains and jungles most commonly refered to simply as Pumas. Along side the Pumas were the equally ferocious Beast of the Forest known collectively as the Grizzly Bears. The two groups included all the big cats and bears throughout the animal kingdom. With one exception. Panda Bears were not considered vicious enough to be a pat of the ruling class. In truth the gentile bears were never intrested in the dominstion of the animal kingdom. saome feel the grand Polar Bear is too becoming peaceful sages. Though it is the popular opion of most Monkees that this due more to their dwindling numbers. They are the only bears that can be befriended. As for the great ats all manner of shapes they take are considered dangerous to both anmals and humans alike. Hierarchy within the animal kingdom has alway fell from the two species. Few animals are to be trusted for most awnser to the two dominant beast. Penguins can often be truseted as their flightles status alienates them from their feathered kin. Squirrels are often friends to Monkees, mainly becasue they have acted as monkees in lands that we do not originate from. Doe (though netoriusly promiscous) are often favored friends. Monkees however have remained outside the order for our roots are deeper than any other creatures and our connection in blood to the humans has marked us as outsiders even more than birds or reptiles. The rest of the animal kingdom has always followed suit, obey ing the laws of the jungle and forest laid out by the Grizzely's and Pumas.
Until their arose a dark voice. Decent began to stir amongst one of the smallest and seemingly helpless of all Earths creatures. The chicken a beast who's place is young in the grand scope of the animal kingdom. The flightless bird who's only reason for existing is to provide humans with sustinace. It was do to human manipulation that their numbers grew and grew o the point they began to demand respect in the wild. Vile out right filthy beings the yard bird army fired the first salvo in what is known as the "Great Shrimp and Chicken War of '87".
To understsand the Great War we must look back to shortly after the fall of Atlantis. When the alien colonies were still at war. This was long before the age of Man and the because of the terrible bombs egnited by the colonizers the Earths weather was thrown askew and the planet entered an ice age of sorts. The beast that ruled these times were those who could survive the drastic climates of the world. The Mammoths, and Sasquatch were kings of the tundra. It was then that the first of the big cats arose to dominace. The sabertoothe Tigers bacame the first High Pumas. After the thaw the Pumas caused was magnified in the land of man when one of the colonies used their genes to create a beast known only as the Sphinx to fight their war. The beast was victorius but later turned to stone in the African desert by the opposing colony. This monster hower unbeknownst to the alien invaders helped to cement a legend in the animal kingdom. Small minded creatures feared the early Pumas could transform into the abomination at will. Monkees however knew the truth. The out worlders and later humans would play a greater role in creatng the myth of the cats power than the felines could ever had hoped to do so on their own. Thruth be told there are greater animals in the wild yet none are as feared as the big cats. Humans across the planet have even themselves in turn worshipped the quadraped. In South America the first humans worshiped the Jaguar, in India they prayed to Tigers, and in Africa Lions. North America Humans feared the Mountain Lions and the Europeans evered the Lions they held until they exterminated them all.
In the Far East however no big cats existed yet a now extinct beast known as the Foo-Dog was honored and respected. The creatures sadly were slayed by the last of the great lizards. Who remained hidden in remote areas of China until their food became exinct also. Also in the East perhaps the strangest of animal worship by early humans took place. Due to some playful deciet by their alien masters humans in India took to worshipping cattle. Perhaps the most nitoriously lazy and slow witted of all animals. It was here also that the seeds of rebellion were first sown in the yard bird armies. The Chickens began to suspect that they too could come to power if only they had the respect of the humans. They too like cattle were created for consumption by mankind. Genetically modified for centuries by human hands they had come under the asumption that they were in line for power and began their assult on the rest of the animal kingdom. Had it not been for their rivals from the sea they may have suceeded. Let it not be forgotton by any Monkee that the chicken is the only animal that can survive for hour without it's head.
The Shrimp too are to be watched. Though small and unasumming the sheer numbers of the crustacians is to be rekoned with. They outnumber nearly every other species on earth with the exception of insects. Though numbers were never the strength of the Girzzely Bears or Pumas. This was a lesson that both Shrimp and Chicken would learn. A valuable lesson monkees should heed. Just as the equines and bovines have had their numbers turned upon them so may all creatures big and small. They are fearless and plot acension in the hiearchy at all cost. The Shrimp claim to be among the oldest creatures on Earth their empire supposedly even redates our own. According to Shrimp mythology the crustaseans claim to be the progenators of all land mammals. Though these claims are scoffed at by Monkey scientist. It is no doubt that sea life pre dates land walkers, most ocean dwellers stem from a fork in the evolutionary tree of life. All creatures are part of one life force but genenology divides to a point where pin pointing an original species is absurd at best. The Shrimp of course hold no respect for diverging opions and are respectful only to the great fish of the deep. Whom themselves have their own struggle playing out in the deep abyss.
Another beast who's claims over the planet extend back to the Ice Age are the furred giants who roam the woodland areas of the world. Their empire spread from the great forest of Russia, to the deep woods of North America. They claim the icelands at the top and bottom of the world. Though their reach is considerably less than the big cats their power and ferocity is unparralled. It is said only the elephants posses more strength. Still strength without desire to rule is of no use. Hence the reason Elephants have never played a more dominant role in animal politics. That and their lack of numbers. Bears are known also for their fair judgement and their diplomacy. It is believed the divison of dominoin between the Northern Hemisphere and the Southern between Grizzley Bears and Pumas, was soley a Bear idea. With the two Super Powers spiltting America itself.
The Wild Card in the land divison has always ben the land known as Aulstraila to the humans. Secluded away from the othe major land masses and left to evolve without any bears or big cats. The wild kingom of the out back is know as a free country. Though the Shrimp claim to have taken over the minds of the humans there. Siting the Aussie qoute "Shrimp on the Barbie" as proof of their dominance. Though no one knows exactly what that phrase means. Most of Ausltraila seems to be poulated by misbegotten 1st colony experiments such as giant rabbits and some kind of duck/beaver hybrid. Madagascar seems to hold similar cast offs from perhaps the second colonist.
During the Great War many other lesser animals found themselves pawns of the four factions (Shrimp, Puma, Grizzely, and Chicken in case you forgot) Turtles, Elephants, and Rhino's espeacially have fallen victim to the four sides. This has propted canines and seals to alley themselves soely with humans over the millenia. While horses and Mules alike have been turned into slaves by humans. Birds have mostly remaind neutral with few exceptions on each side. Only one race has remained free and unscathed by the conflict. Only one animal has the where-with-all to stand above the fray. Only one creature refuses to work for or recognize the power of any group even puny humans. That is of course us! The Monkee's who seek to defeat all manners of aimals and reclaim the Heavens ad the earth for our own enjoyment. For only we are first born and only we are free. No alien hand has shapedus, no God has controlled us, nothing at no time has ever dictated the path of the mighty Monkee Kingdom! It is our world evrything else is just living in it.
In India Hanuman is the son of the wind Goddess, and prince of all Monkees. His father Sugrive is the son of the Sun God and King of all Monkees. Hanuman is the true hero in their ancient text "Ramayena. In the text Rama's wife Sita is kidnapped by the demon Ravana, and it is Hanuman who is sent to rescue her. Hanuman is captured and his tail is Set Ablaze. He uses this blazing tail to burn down the great city of Sri Lanka. During the Chaos he escapes only to return later with Rama and slay the demon.
"Know that I am Hanuman, son of Vayu the God of Wind! My master is Sugriva The Monkee King!"
"A monkee's tail is important to him, after all. Without it he would be as deformed as Shurpanakha"
IN THEE BEGINING
It began with (well I can't tell you about all that) Let's start just after the begining, after the first poo was flung and the remenants of that poo sent debris across the universe, as it was then which was nothingness expanding into nothingness. As Chaos brought light into the void, the Universe opened it's eye which was evrything. As the debri setteled across the infinte reaches and began to take shape and form what humans call galaxies. These glaxies formed solar syatems inside which planets grew and onto which life was formed. Creatures took shape over millineas and from atoms to aeombas all things began to take form in their fashion and after much time. The Universe than opened it's second eye which was also everything, and what it saw was good. Our world was one rock among many but life was strong and flourishing as we traveled around solar system which was revolving inside the galaxy which was spinning within the Universe.
As life evolved here on Earth it did so elswhere as well some planets grew before ours and so life was more advanced by the time the first monkees set upright. Those who grew futher from the sun as time went on exhausted their planets resources and natural selection eveicted them from their worlds. As their civilizatons failed their refugees saught out the next habital planet to colonize. As all planets where spit from the sun, each was the same at certain stages. The Third Planet from the sun, being the most inhabital allways. Mankind was not yet born when this planet recieved it's first visitors. Theses creatures where not that diffrent from makind and saught domion over the land and sea. They fell the great lizards and raised enormous cities in the oceans. They destroyed the lands and seas and tried to form the earth to their liking. with their science and weapons of destruction the suceeded and changed the landscape over time. These creatures however where ot alone. For another race had come hoping to get ahead of their own demise. These two alien colonys then began to war. Their war consumed them and destroyed their glorious cities in the sea. Some escaped and built other cities high above the mountain tops in the clouds.
As their populations dwindled and their war raged on, the two species came to the conclusion that peace was in their best intrest. Yet even in peace their bloodlines would not survive long without careful manipulation. These madmen raped Monkee women and bred all manners of abominations. From Apes, to Neandrathals, from Cro-Mags, to Humans. These were off shoots to genitic manipulation of the Monkee DNA by vile invaders who then lorded over their creations as Gods themselves. These false Gods were occasionally benevolent, but more often sinister with their own unalturistic motivations and self preservational plans. Yet they found through their mechanations they could only produce one sex each. They needed their combined geneology to poduce a being that was cabable of self replication. Thus their fatal flaw. Two creatures both with Monkee DNA would be the downfall of the Gods. Soon the monkee gene began to rear it's head. The Humans and Apes and all the assortment of devients began to war and kill each other over parcels of land. Their greed and ignorance sowed deep seeds of strife which can stil be seen even now. No Monkee can follow orders for too long. A monkee is meant to be free, even mutated and twisted this trait appears. Violence, (a monkee invention) caused many of the devients to become extinct, and then as Humans grew in dominance over their land and surroundings they then began to rebel against their false Gods and masters. The knowlege held by all monkees of the origins of man and of the universe were transfered to mankind and many within humanity awoke to the eternal truths over time. Legends of Grand Monkee Kings and Princes' brought mankind out of the darkness and into an age of light and reason. As the old Godlings died out so did their power a few managed to extend their bloodling and life spans into the present. The most benevolent of them survived but, only the true and only by hiding away within the grand mountain fortress known as Shang-Ri-La. Where Monkees are still welcome for they know the truth of our great kingdom there.
Thee Secret History of The World
During the war between the colonies life still evolved within the animal kingdom. The end of the Gret Lizards brought the rise of the Great Beast. The beast of the world took little intrest in the mechanations of these strange off worlders. They were primaitive in their thinking and this would be their undoing. More on that later. The original inhabitant of "God's Green Earth" the animals eolved in a world that man could not see. They formed factions and allegences amongst themselves. The rulers of the animal kingdom were for centuries the big cats of the mountains and jungles most commonly refered to simply as Pumas. Along side the Pumas were the equally ferocious Beast of the Forest known collectively as the Grizzly Bears. The two groups included all the big cats and bears throughout the animal kingdom. With one exception. Panda Bears were not considered vicious enough to be a pat of the ruling class. In truth the gentile bears were never intrested in the dominstion of the animal kingdom. saome feel the grand Polar Bear is too becoming peaceful sages. Though it is the popular opion of most Monkees that this due more to their dwindling numbers. They are the only bears that can be befriended. As for the great ats all manner of shapes they take are considered dangerous to both anmals and humans alike. Hierarchy within the animal kingdom has alway fell from the two species. Few animals are to be trusted for most awnser to the two dominant beast. Penguins can often be truseted as their flightles status alienates them from their feathered kin. Squirrels are often friends to Monkees, mainly becasue they have acted as monkees in lands that we do not originate from. Doe (though netoriusly promiscous) are often favored friends. Monkees however have remained outside the order for our roots are deeper than any other creatures and our connection in blood to the humans has marked us as outsiders even more than birds or reptiles. The rest of the animal kingdom has always followed suit, obey ing the laws of the jungle and forest laid out by the Grizzely's and Pumas.
Until their arose a dark voice. Decent began to stir amongst one of the smallest and seemingly helpless of all Earths creatures. The chicken a beast who's place is young in the grand scope of the animal kingdom. The flightless bird who's only reason for existing is to provide humans with sustinace. It was do to human manipulation that their numbers grew and grew o the point they began to demand respect in the wild. Vile out right filthy beings the yard bird army fired the first salvo in what is known as the "Great Shrimp and Chicken War of '87".
To understsand the Great War we must look back to shortly after the fall of Atlantis. When the alien colonies were still at war. This was long before the age of Man and the because of the terrible bombs egnited by the colonizers the Earths weather was thrown askew and the planet entered an ice age of sorts. The beast that ruled these times were those who could survive the drastic climates of the world. The Mammoths, and Sasquatch were kings of the tundra. It was then that the first of the big cats arose to dominace. The sabertoothe Tigers bacame the first High Pumas. After the thaw the Pumas caused was magnified in the land of man when one of the colonies used their genes to create a beast known only as the Sphinx to fight their war. The beast was victorius but later turned to stone in the African desert by the opposing colony. This monster hower unbeknownst to the alien invaders helped to cement a legend in the animal kingdom. Small minded creatures feared the early Pumas could transform into the abomination at will. Monkees however knew the truth. The out worlders and later humans would play a greater role in creatng the myth of the cats power than the felines could ever had hoped to do so on their own. Thruth be told there are greater animals in the wild yet none are as feared as the big cats. Humans across the planet have even themselves in turn worshipped the quadraped. In South America the first humans worshiped the Jaguar, in India they prayed to Tigers, and in Africa Lions. North America Humans feared the Mountain Lions and the Europeans evered the Lions they held until they exterminated them all.
In the Far East however no big cats existed yet a now extinct beast known as the Foo-Dog was honored and respected. The creatures sadly were slayed by the last of the great lizards. Who remained hidden in remote areas of China until their food became exinct also. Also in the East perhaps the strangest of animal worship by early humans took place. Due to some playful deciet by their alien masters humans in India took to worshipping cattle. Perhaps the most nitoriously lazy and slow witted of all animals. It was here also that the seeds of rebellion were first sown in the yard bird armies. The Chickens began to suspect that they too could come to power if only they had the respect of the humans. They too like cattle were created for consumption by mankind. Genetically modified for centuries by human hands they had come under the asumption that they were in line for power and began their assult on the rest of the animal kingdom. Had it not been for their rivals from the sea they may have suceeded. Let it not be forgotton by any Monkee that the chicken is the only animal that can survive for hour without it's head.
The Shrimp too are to be watched. Though small and unasumming the sheer numbers of the crustacians is to be rekoned with. They outnumber nearly every other species on earth with the exception of insects. Though numbers were never the strength of the Girzzely Bears or Pumas. This was a lesson that both Shrimp and Chicken would learn. A valuable lesson monkees should heed. Just as the equines and bovines have had their numbers turned upon them so may all creatures big and small. They are fearless and plot acension in the hiearchy at all cost. The Shrimp claim to be among the oldest creatures on Earth their empire supposedly even redates our own. According to Shrimp mythology the crustaseans claim to be the progenators of all land mammals. Though these claims are scoffed at by Monkey scientist. It is no doubt that sea life pre dates land walkers, most ocean dwellers stem from a fork in the evolutionary tree of life. All creatures are part of one life force but genenology divides to a point where pin pointing an original species is absurd at best. The Shrimp of course hold no respect for diverging opions and are respectful only to the great fish of the deep. Whom themselves have their own struggle playing out in the deep abyss.
Another beast who's claims over the planet extend back to the Ice Age are the furred giants who roam the woodland areas of the world. Their empire spread from the great forest of Russia, to the deep woods of North America. They claim the icelands at the top and bottom of the world. Though their reach is considerably less than the big cats their power and ferocity is unparralled. It is said only the elephants posses more strength. Still strength without desire to rule is of no use. Hence the reason Elephants have never played a more dominant role in animal politics. That and their lack of numbers. Bears are known also for their fair judgement and their diplomacy. It is believed the divison of dominoin between the Northern Hemisphere and the Southern between Grizzley Bears and Pumas, was soley a Bear idea. With the two Super Powers spiltting America itself.
The Wild Card in the land divison has always ben the land known as Aulstraila to the humans. Secluded away from the othe major land masses and left to evolve without any bears or big cats. The wild kingom of the out back is know as a free country. Though the Shrimp claim to have taken over the minds of the humans there. Siting the Aussie qoute "Shrimp on the Barbie" as proof of their dominance. Though no one knows exactly what that phrase means. Most of Ausltraila seems to be poulated by misbegotten 1st colony experiments such as giant rabbits and some kind of duck/beaver hybrid. Madagascar seems to hold similar cast offs from perhaps the second colonist.
During the Great War many other lesser animals found themselves pawns of the four factions (Shrimp, Puma, Grizzely, and Chicken in case you forgot) Turtles, Elephants, and Rhino's espeacially have fallen victim to the four sides. This has propted canines and seals to alley themselves soely with humans over the millenia. While horses and Mules alike have been turned into slaves by humans. Birds have mostly remaind neutral with few exceptions on each side. Only one race has remained free and unscathed by the conflict. Only one animal has the where-with-all to stand above the fray. Only one creature refuses to work for or recognize the power of any group even puny humans. That is of course us! The Monkee's who seek to defeat all manners of aimals and reclaim the Heavens ad the earth for our own enjoyment. For only we are first born and only we are free. No alien hand has shapedus, no God has controlled us, nothing at no time has ever dictated the path of the mighty Monkee Kingdom! It is our world evrything else is just living in it.
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